Whats wrong with this greeting?

 “Are you here for your cleaning? Take a seat in the waiting room, Mrs. Smith. The Hygienist will be with you in a few minutes.”

 What’s wrong with this greeting?
EVERYTHING!!
1..It’s not a welcome in any shape or form. No enthusiasm, no appreciation, no rapport, no engagement. no love. There might as well be a robot and a clipboard.
2. Why ask a patient what they are “here” for?  Did your computer software crash?
3. I am tempted to “take a seat”, as you say, and put it in my car.
4. “Waiting room”? So that’s what we do here- “wait”.
5. “The Hygienist”? She has a name, too.
And YOU may please add your “pet peeves” to this list.

We’re not finished yet!

Now suggest your best professional, friendly, and elegant substitutions for these archaic dental terms, and feel free to add to the list.

LET’S CREATE A MORE ELEGANT DENTAL LEXICON

cleaning                  [The janitor will give you a cleaning today]
probe (noun)          ["Is that going to be with that pointy thing that you stick in my gums?"]
probe (verb)           ["You are going to do WHAT to me?"]
waiting room           [".... for how long?"]
Hygienist                 ["Hygienist" is correct, but aren't there more services and skills offered by this professional?]
front desk (inanimate object)    [It's usually wood and formica, but can't we call that area something more elegant?]
Front Desk (the human at the inanimate object)    [With this one, I cringe! How can a dentist show so little respect to someone who is so important to the image and success of the practice?]
Assistant
drill (noun)
drill (verb)
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